My values

I like systems and processes, and easily end up with long lists of specific rules, goals and principles for how to live my life.

However, as much as I enjoy creating these systems, they quickly lose their appeal. Long lists feel like pressure. Too many rules hold me back, or I end up ignoring them. And when I do, the system breaks down.

A couple of years ago, inspired by some article or podcast I can’t remember now, I tried a different approach: identifying my personal values.

Much to my surprise, it has actually been working! I have stuck to them since and never felt a need to rewrite them. Unlike the long list of life rules, I know them by heart, and they don’t get outdated the same way the more granular items do.

Whenever I have a decision to make, I avoid things that don’t align with my values. If I feel discontent, I use my values to try to find what’s missing.

Sure, I may still relapse and create a list of intentions once in a while, but when I do, I now have my values to guide me.

But enough background, let’s move on to the values themselves!

Happiness

I guess everyone wants to be happy, and I’d say that mainly I am. I have a lot to be grateful for. This value is not about some ideal future state. I just need to remind myself of what I already have, and sometimes zoom out a bit and look at the bigger picture when I’m not quite feeling it at that moment.

Simplicity

I wouldn’t classify myself as a minimalist, and I am not particularly frugal either. I enjoy things. However, I have found that more isn’t better. Having a big wardrobe where I somehow never find anything I want to wear is a lot less convenient than having just enough clothes not to have to wash too often, where I enjoy and wear every item frequently. Having eight nice notebooks genuinely gives me less joy than having two. Clutter annoys me. And the same applies to other areas in life, too.

Intentionality

It feels as if every time I look up, a week, month or year has passed. It’s also easy to spend my money without feeling that I get much in return. It’s not that time is sparse or that I’m poor. It’s about finite resources and how I spend them. There’s an opportunity cost to everything I do or buy. Doing x means not doing y, so I try to stop for a second to make sure that x is the right thing. I think it’s fair to say I’m much better at this when it comes to my money than my time, but the intention is the same for both.

Curiosity

Perhaps surprisingly, I find this to be the hardest of my values to live by. The truth is that I prefer to eat something that I already know I will enjoy, rather than take the risk of trying something new. The same goes for travel, people to talk to and so on. At the same time, I know that discovering new things sometimes means discovering new favourites. That’s why I want to challenge myself to keep an open mind, trying and exploring new things once in a while.

Being a good citizen

I know I won’t go down in history as one of the great minds, and I’m not going to achieve something that will still amaze people in 200 years. That’s perfectly fine with me. My baseline is much lower: to at least not make the world any worse than if I weren’t around, and hopefully a tiny bit better than that. I pay my taxes and give a little bit to charity every month. I try to keep myself reasonably informed about what’s going on in the world, and I vote in the elections. I try to make the working life of my team a little bit better, and I try to keep others in positive regard and understand their perspective. Nothing big, just trying not to be an arsehole.